I'm starting to heal, but my spouse is not helping herself get better, She is pulling me down. What do I do to keep my healing going?

(Toronto)

I have been doing extremely well in balancing my self on a daily basis following the revised wheel. I am feeling much better and more in control of my life. Some happiness is evident and I know my life is headed in the right direction. My concern however is my marriage partner...I am becoming more and more uncomfortable being around her. I've been doing well with my new start but she seems to be trying to put a negative spin on everything I'm doing even if they are positive actions. She sits at home and does nothing all day long; the book she was rushing me to order is still sitting on our desk at home unread. We have a very tight situation financially and it seems like she is not pulling her weight. Our views on life seem to be different and I wonder weather she may not be the healthiest person for me to be married to. I really don't see progress in her and am becoming very discouraged. It's tough because she is always speaking negative and has issues with everything under the sun and this environment is not healthy for me; what should I do?

Comments for I'm starting to heal, but my spouse is not helping herself get better, She is pulling me down. What do I do to keep my healing going?

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Jan 14, 2011
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What do I do to keep my healing going?
by: Ravi

It's so releasing to learn that you are in control of your life. You must have struggled to revise the wheel? It must not have been without pain?.Nevertheless it is worth going through all that you must have been, to realize that your life is headed in the right direction

You must be feeling frustrated and let down, when she makes issue of everything around her, speaks negative discouraging you, and puts a negative spin on your actions, your intentions; leading you to feel that she doubts your abilities and above all you intentions.. no matter how true and sincere they are.

How irritating it must be that despite the tight financial situation you are in, you feel that she is still not choosing to contribute? In such a challenging situation, one could only expect his partner to be supportive and encouraging? which somehow is not happening at the present moment in your life.. and obviously you must be feeling inclined to re-evaluate your choice of marital partner.

I invite you to appreciate that you took your time to grow out of the situation you were in.
It would help if you could see that your partner too is trying to cope up with the situation, that you both were going through? Although, you evolved out this a bit too quickly she is still taking her own time to reframe the situation and find her way out of all this and as she is going through such a difficult time she needs you to be with her more than she ever could have needed you ever?

It would help to recognize that you are allowing yourself to be held back by way judging her, instead of unconditionally supporting her and wining her trust and confidence in your intentions and love for her.

It could a matter of time, before she too sees a new beginning and enjoys the journey as much as you do.

Jan 13, 2011
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Why you should never give up.
by: Anonymous

Don't give up..... One day I decided to quit.
I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality. .. I wanted to quit my life.
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.
"God", I asked, "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"
His answer surprised me...
"Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"
"Yes", I replied.
"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them.
I gave them light.
I gave them water.
The fern quickly grew from the earth.
Its brilliant green covered the floor.
Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.
In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.
And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. He said.
"In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.
But I would not quit.
In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. I would
not quit." He said.
"Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared
to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant. ..But just 6
months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.
It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.
I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."
He asked me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots".
"I would not quit on the bamboo.
I will never quit on you."
"Don't compare yourself to others."
He said. "The bamboo had a different Purpose than the fern.
Yet they both make the forest beautiful."
"Your time will come", God said to me.
"You will rise high"
"How high should I rise?"
I asked. "How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.
"As high as it can?" I questioned.
"Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."
I left the forest and brought back this story.
I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.
Never, Never, Never Give up.
For the Christian Prayer is not an option but an opportunity.
Don't tell the Lord how big the problem is,
tell the problem how Great the Lord is!

Heavens door opened this morning, God asked me... My CHILD...
what can I do for you?" and I said "Protect and bless the one reading this message.
God smiled and answered ...
"request granted ............

Jan 13, 2011
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Keep driving well, despite the obstacles, and continue to fix/nurse what is broken.
by: John

I'm pleased to hear that you're feeling better and more in control of your life vehicle. You see, once we get a bit of success driving our car, (finally the proper way), we need to experience many more miles of success
on the daily road of life before trust and health gets strengthened.

(Just think of a new lawn full of grass seeds. The grass will grow - in time).

So what to do?

Keep putting on miles, let the grass grow, and don't do anything that will destroy the vehicle, the driver, the road, the relationship or the soil.

It will be a bit rough for a while, as the grass grows, and once mature, you will start to enjoy a healthier lawn, emotional life, relationship, etc.

So hang in, keep driving well, despite the obstacles, and continue to fix/nurse what is
broken.

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