My inner child and God - I was so anxious and scared!

by Nela
(Ontario, Canada)

I have had quite the journey this past year, and the past two month have been a particularly challenging time, resulting in surgery on Oct. 29 to remove a football sized cyst from my abdomen, and a total hysterectomy and appendectomy. The initial results are good, and the doctor feels that there is really very little chance of the pathology showing any cancer. But the size of the cyst has caused major problems for my organs, kidneys, gallbladder, stomach, so I am needing to recover carefully. With time I will be 100% again, and will find myself healthier than I've been in a year or more, so it's all good from here on.

I had an interesting experience throughout this that I will share with you briefly, if I may, as it has to do with one of the work assignment in the workbook - my inner child and God. You came into my life at just the right time John, because shortly before my surgery I was sitting at home, absolutely terrified at the prospect of such a major operation, when I have such serious problems with pain medications, etc. I was so anxious and scared and just sat there on my couch, unable to move, barely able to breathe sometimes. So I started talking to God, and I admitted to him that I was scared, and although I am a capable grown woman, I was feeling like a scared little girl who needed someone to take her hand and walk her through this, cause I couldn't.

I asked God to talk to me, not just leave me to believe in Him, but to please somehow reassure me and help me deal with my inner child's fears that were so real. The previous Sunday at church I had told one of the ladies about my upcoming surgery, and she told me she had a hysterectomy a few years ago, and she looked me square in the eyes and said "you'll be fine" and somehow the way she had said it gave me peace.

Well, within an hour of my prayer about God giving me something tangible this time, I got a call from that very same lady (who has never called me before - we are not in contact other than hello at church). She just wanted to say hello and remind me that I was going to be just fine, and that she would get up at 6 am the next day (day of surgery) and pray for me every hour. I thanked her, hung up, and cried like a little girl. What a blessing.

I was no less scared the next day, but I took comfort in knowing that I wasn't doing this alone, and as terrified as I was, I would be fine. Here I am today, recouperating, and I am going to be fine indeed. There were a couple of rough spots, but even then I didn't ask God to take the pain away, I asked him to give me the strength to get through, and I feel my spiritual journey has deepened because of this event.

Thank you for listening, John. I will come and see you as there are some other things I need help with.